reflections

surprised
I see myself getting older
I can't remember when it happened
the eyes
I can see it in the eyes
they know way too much
yet so little
when did my smile become so uncertain
so forced
it is me I look for
but I don't see me
I see a body
that doesn't fit
has it always been this way
the sacred spirit
looking so mundane in baggy sweats, a torn shirt


I have become
Venice
it's canals so exotic
in the moonlight of my mind
traveling far
to see myself in their mystery
I am just deluded
my reflection could not penetrate
their water's dirt and grim
there, where pollution oozes through a city
nothing stretched beyond the imagination
nothing seemed real
but everything sadly was

within
I am
the veiled dancer
a smooth
beautiful
body
flowing
gracefully
over the
cool earth

but mystery turns to reality when the night is over and the dancer must go home
unveiled
you see she is older, plainer
and far too tired to care
that when the mirror shatters
mystery and reality converge
in the shards of glass

Sara Bednark
29 March 2001
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